Hold Me
by almost.to.the.sky
Summary: Lily is always comforting everyone else, but no one ever comforts her. James is there when she needs someone. Lily/James


**A/N Here's just a little oneshot thingy.**

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I was always the one who comforted everyone. Always. I was constantly hugging people and telling them that everything would be okay, even if I had no idea what was going on. I consoled my sister when we were younger and her cat was hit by a car. I held my sobbing mother after my father died. I am frequently comforting the girls in my dorm when they are having boy troubles.

But no one ever holds me.

I don't remember the last time I cried. I always have to be the strong one, the rock. I can't let my emotions show because I have to pay attention to everyone else's problems. Sometimes I wish I could just let someone else take over my job as resident comfort-person. But I know I can't.

I waved goodbye to my mother and then turned and passed through the gateway onto Platform 9 ¾. I looked around at the parents saying goodbye to their children, the friends greeting each other after a summer apart. I walked to the train and got onboard, my trunk trailing behind me. I went to the compartment I had sat in since the first year of school. But this year it felt empty. My best friend, Annabelle, wouldn't be joining me this year. Her parents had moved to America and forced her to go with them. She would be attending the school of witchcraft and wizardry that was over there. And no owls would be able to fly across the ocean.

I sighed and settled in with my feet up and opened the book I had started a few days ago. It would be about an hour before the prefect meeting would start, so I had time to kill. I read for about twenty minutes before the door slid open. I looked up and saw Remus Lupin.

"Hey, Lily," he said, walking in and closing the door. I marked and closed my book as he sat down across from me. Remus and I had been friends, but not close friends, since first year. I quickly figured out he was a werewolf but I didn't tell him that I knew until our fifth year when we had prefect patrols.

"Hello, Remus. How was your summer?"

"It was okay. Yours?"

"Okay, too." We lapsed into silence for a while.

"Did you make Head Girl?" he asked.

"Yeah. Did you get Head Boy?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Surprisingly, James did." Great. James Potter would be my partner. It wasn't just that he was extremely annoying. Over the past couple of years he had actually matured and I was now somewhat attracted to him. But only somewhat.

"That's wonderful," I replied in a flat voice.

Remus laughed. "He's not _that_ bad. Only a little bit." I raised an eyebrow.

"Well, we should probably go to the meeting," I said, getting up. He got up too and we walked to the prefects' compartment. Most people were already there and once everyone had arrived we started. It went by pretty quickly and when it was over I left and went back to my compartment. Remus stayed with James.

I spent the rest of the train ride reading and sleeping.

The first few weeks of school went by pretty quickly. It was just the normal routine, but without Annabelle. It was somewhat depressing. But I kept my feelings inside and plastered a fake smile on my face and did the usual comforting.

It was the middle of October when I got a letter. But not just any letter. It was the one that informed me that my mother had been killed. Death Eaters, the followers of Voldemort, had invaded my house and killed her. My sister blamed me and wrote that I wouldn't be hearing from her after the letter.

I stared at the words in front of me for a moment, shock still taking dominance in me. But when it finally set in, I felt the tears begin to well up in my eyes. I couldn't, wouldn't start crying in the middle of the Great Hall. I stood up from the table and rushed out.

I made it to a random, abandoned classroom before the tears finally spilled over. I sat on the floor, leaning against a wall with my arms around my knees and cried. Sobs shook my body. I don't know how long I sat there before the tears stopped falling.

My mother was dead. My sister hated me. My best friend was gone.

I didn't go to class that day.

When I did go the day after, I didn't tell anyone. I just said that I hadn't been feeling well, which was true, in a sense. I tried to be my normal self, but I know that my mask fell a few times.

As the days and weeks passed by, I felt my sanity slip away, bit by bit. I continued to comfort people but I found that I seemed to be helping less and less. At least there were fewer chances of people coming up to me because I got my own room and common room (that I shared with James) for being Head Girl.

I finally cracked at Christmas. I stayed at Hogwarts for the first time and the silence and lack of people got to me. I slept in on Christmas and thought about my mother, and father, and best friend. It probably wasn't the best of ideas.

I eventually got up, ignoring the small stack of presents at the end of my bed. I put on sweats and an old T-shirt and went down to the Heads common room. I sat on one of the couches and stared at the fire. After a while I began to cry.

I heard a noise and looked up and saw James. I had forgotten that he had stayed for the break also.

I sat there with tears streaming down my face and he walked over to me.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sitting down next to me. I just shook my head.

"Hold me," I said. And he did. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. I buried my faces into his shoulder and cried. He whispered comforting words that I don't remember and rubbed my back.

It felt good to be the one being held.

We stayed like that for a long time, even after my tears stopped. Eventually I pulled away and wiped the last bit of water from around me eyes.

"Um, thanks," I mumbled, looking down, embarrassed.

James reached out and tilted my head up, making my eyes meet his. "Any time, Lily." And I knew he meant it.

"So, what was wrong?"

I took a deep breath and told him everything. When I was done he held me again. But this time I didn't cry, just hugged him back. When we pulled away, I kissed him. Maybe it was just because I was overly emotional, but I don't think so. I think I did it because I liked him and wanted to and he had just held me when no one esle did. But, he out for a while, so I didn't know if he still liked me. But I hope he did, or the kissing would be a little weird...

We kissed for a while, and he finally pulled back.

"What was that for?" he asked, a little breathless.

I just shrugged and kissed him again.

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you go to Hogsmeade with me?"

"Hey, that's my line."


End file.
